I Broke My Painting!

This is the story of the evolution of a painting. Full of disappointment, despair, resolution and determination. Often tortuous, always a struggle, I am sticking to my task with the tenacity of a pit-bull! However, my painting motto - "Know no fear!" - is being tested to the limit.
I can sense that this journey will be long and arduous, and so my friends, I ask you to accompany me for moral support! We shall walk this path together until we reach our uncertain destination! I cannot promise a happy ending, but it should be an interesting insight of how I work.

In a secluded clearing amidst a copse in Wythenshawe Park, there stands a small, neglected late-Victorian fountain. Long out of use, weeds grow around and in it. I thought it would make a good painting so I took a reference photo, went home, and began to paint...

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Permalink Reply by Paul Spilsbury on October 24, 2008 at 9:13am: ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Paul Spilsbury on October 24, 2008 at 9:18am: And this was the result. I added the bench to add context to the left side. I was, to say the least, dubious.
After several days of study and reflection, my feelings hadn't changed, so I knew something was wrong. I thought the bench was too square-on with the fountain and needed to be moved up a touch. That didn't work.
I have done more work, which I shall post soon...; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Arlene Faulkner on October 24, 2008 at 10:25am: I agree with Sheila but for me I like the way you have done the trees. What if you were to take the colour of the fountain and bench right back. Put the bench in deeper shadow and make the stone work of the fountain a darker grey, would that work? It would then draw the eye more towards the trees. Being new to painting I still have a lot to learn especially about perspective and composition, so not sure if my suggestion is the right thing to do...Arlene; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by marina on October 24, 2008 at 11:58pm: The birch trees need to have some shading, they are too dominant. You need to make a central focus. Either the fountain or the bench. Try some glazing. Use your shadow colour, float some shadows on the trees and part of the bench.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Sheila on October 24, 2008 at 10:04am: Hi, Paul

First thoughts on this painting are that I don't know what the focal point is. The fountain, bench and the four tree trunks all have the same "importance" in the painting and seem to make 4 focal points.

This is a real dilemma for me because I love all he elements in this Something has to go but I'm not sure which. I think it has to be the bench. That would make fountain the focus and it is already in the right place according to the golden section rule. The bench is so attractive in it's own right and would look great as the focal point of another picture.

Hope this helps. See what the others think.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by kay shute on October 24, 2008 at 10:37am: I would love to be able to help Paul, but I lack the expertise. My work is so basic really I would love to be able to paint like you and so many others on this site., but I think Shelia is on the right track here.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by jenny fyfe on October 24, 2008 at 10:48am: Not really qualified to give a critique Paul,but if it was me I think I would lose the bench and then highlight the path from the fountain leading you right thru the painting and maybe dull down the tree trunks a little , I think this might bring the fountain forward ,hope this helps

Jenny; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Paul Spilsbury on October 24, 2008 at 10:57am: I can see you are all going to be a great help! I have actually done another four stages of this work (including something rather drastic!). I agreed with those who said to lose the bench...; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Paul Spilsbury on October 24, 2008 at 10:59am: But now I was back to square one! There was just something missing. I found myself thinking that this was 'so what?' painting.
Time for drastic measures...; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Dottie Woodhouse on October 24, 2008 at 1:12pm: what I see is your darks are not dark enough shadows and some edges; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Sheila on October 24, 2008 at 11:11am: Looks good like that, Paul. I think if you make a darker shadow under the left hand side bushes (not right up to the fountain, though), it would balance and make it just perfect.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Robbin on October 25, 2008 at 3:47pm: Hi Paul, sorry I'm coming in late, and I'm not sure I'm qualified either..but will tell you what I see. I liked the bench, but agree that the fountain should be the focal point. If it were me I'd probably put it back in, (sorry, but I really liked that bench ;) or something in that area to attract secondary attention so that the viewers eye goes to the fountain, and then travels around the painting. I think if the bench had only grey/blue highlights, and then the fountain had bright yellowish white just around the left edges, it would stand out against the bench. The fountain looks to me like it's leaning towards the left, and could be that's the way it's supposed to be. The birch trees could use some shade along the right sides of the trunk, and leave some of the bright along the left sides. Once you get the shading in you could use just a bit of reflective light on the shaded side. I liked the grass in the first painting and I know you are probably not finished with the second one, and will put it back in. All in all, I like it, I think it's worth finishing, and think you are doing a great job :); ▶ Reply to This